In the Sufi tradition there is the concept of “The 4 Gates of Speech.” It states that when someone is speaking they may benefit from asking the following questions; Is what you are saying true? Is it necessary to say? Is it beneficial to be said? And Is it kind? I view this as a mindful way of speaking and thinking (to others and to yourself). By passing through these four gates we filter out the unnecessary and truly take a moment to stop and observe our thoughts before blurting them out. I also feel that they reflect some of the core portions of the interpersonal effectiveness skill DEAR MAN GIVE FAST (from DBT, that’s for another day). By passing through the four gates of speech we will also be more mindful and aware of the things we are putting out into the world.
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TIPS & TRICKS
A simple acronym to remember the gates of speech is T.H.I.N.K.
True
Helpful
Inspiring
Necessary
Kind
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
DEPARTING THOUGHT
The gates of speech aren’t just for the spoken word, keep them in mind when posting to social media. Actually, keep them even more in mind when online. If everyone used T.H.I.N.K. before posting to Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter the social media space might become a bit more tolerable and a bigger force for positive change in the world.
Until next time, notice your words.
Further Reading:
The Four Gates of Speech - Michelle Cross
No Comment: 3 Rules of Dealing With Internet Trolls - Joe Pierre M.D.